How to be a widow?
The death of a loved one and a loved one is always a great tragedy, even if it is not sudden and the person has some time to prepare himself morally. In such a situation, even the most powerful and strong-willed natures are giving up, especially women, who by their nature are more sensitive and emotional, endure the loss of their relatives very long and painfully.
In this article we will talk about how to be a widow who recently lost her beloved spouse, how to overcome her grief and learn to live further.
Everyone has their own pain
It is not surprising that grandmothers on the bench at the entrance or too “sympathetic” neighbors will view the widow's grief through the prism of her relationship with her husband. Of course, it is easier to see true love, and, therefore, regret for the loss in the stream of uninterrupted sobs than in stone silence. However, it should be remembered that all women suffer in different ways: someone cries without ceasing, someone closes in on herself, which may seem to be a sign of indifference. Do not take to heart what your acquaintances will say about you. It is important to ease your pain, so do it the way you want it.
Stay close to family
First of all, close relatives should think about how to be a widow who recently lost a spouse, try to help her. Therefore, initially it should be recommended to her family and friends to have patience and to show understanding. It is important that the woman herself wants to cope with her misfortune, otherwise nothing will help. Even if you do not want to see anyone and talk to anyone, do not doom yourself to constant loneliness: it only aggravates the pain of heavy thoughts. Often be surrounded by relatives and dear to you people and do not think that you are able to overcome the grief completely independently, care and help of loved ones you need.
The guilt complex is an unhealing wound
Very often, people who have lost loved ones begin to blame themselves for their death. And it does not matter whether this is true at least for a fraction of a percent: strong grief, as a rule, makes it impossible for a person to objectively evaluate reality. Therefore, if it seems to you that you could change everything, if you did not do / did / say so and so, try to understand that your remorse of conscience will not lead to anything good.
The more you blame yourself for your grief, the more your pain will become. In addition, you yourself force yourself to believe in their own guilt. Try to accept what happened as an irreversible fact that you could not influence, and remember: the guilt complex does not heal your wound, and you need to heal it.
A change of scenery
Undoubtedly, grief and heartache at first are simply inevitable. And how to be a widow, who every second remembers her beloved husband? After all, every little thing in the house reminds of a certain moment from their life together: these are the earrings that he gave her for her first wedding anniversary, this is a photo from her son's birthday ...
All these memories only increase the pain, and life loses all meaning, becoming only the past. Therefore, we can advise at least for a while to go away from obsessive memories. It is not necessary to go to another country, you can go to your friend's house or to your aunt's village. The main thing is to completely change the situation so that as few things as possible remind of the former life.
Work, work and work again!
Of course, in the very first days a woman who lost her beloved spouse is unlikely to be able to just leave the house, not like going to work and actively working. But after some time, you need to force yourself to do it.Here it is not even about the fact that now she will have to take on all the financial issues of the family: work is a great way to distract from sad thoughts. And if at first it will seem that everything is useless, after a certain period of time a woman will understand that getting up every morning and going to work is much better than lying in bed and harassing herself with negative thoughts.
What about children?
If there is a child in a happy marriage, the loss of a spouse for a woman becomes a double tragedy. She is experiencing not only her own, but also childish grief. But at the same time it should be noted that it is precisely this factor that often effectively helps to cope with the pain of loss. After all, the widow realizes that if she suffers so much - a mature and sensible person - then what does a child have to do? Responsibility for a weaker and helpless creature gives women strength and makes them move on.
No matter how strong the grief is, it passes with time, albeit gradually and slowly, but the wounds heal. We must be grateful for the past and learn to believe in the future!